SEND Basics
I Think My Child Has SEND — What Should I Do?
Victoria ·
If you're wondering whether your child may have special educational needs (SEND), you might not know where to begin. Here's what to do if you're worried about your child's learning, communication, behaviour, development or emotional wellbeing.
If you've found yourself wondering whether something might be different for your child, you're probably carrying a lot of questions and worries.
Maybe your child is finding school harder than you expected. Perhaps they're struggling with communication, learning, friendships, emotions, sensory experiences or everyday routines.
Maybe school has mentioned some concerns.
Or perhaps you can't quite put your finger on what it is. You just have a feeling that something isn't quite right.
First of all, you're not alone.
And you don't need to have all the answers before you ask for help.
What if I think my child may have SEND?
As a parent or carer, you know your child incredibly well.
You know what they're like when they're happy and settled, what they look like when they're overwhelmed, what situations they find difficult and what helps them feel safe.
You might notice things that other people don't.
Perhaps your child:
- becomes very distressed when routines or plans change
- finds communication or expressing their needs difficult
- struggles with learning or following instructions
- finds friendships or social situations difficult
- becomes overwhelmed by noise, touch, busy environments or other sensory experiences
- has big emotional reactions that seem difficult for them to manage
- comes home from school exhausted or overwhelmed
- struggles with everyday activities such as getting dressed, eating or getting ready for school
- seems to manage at school but finds things much harder at home
- is finding school increasingly difficult despite support already being offered
These things don't automatically mean that your child has SEND.
But if you're noticing a pattern, it's okay to ask questions.
You don't need to decide for yourself whether your child has a special educational need before speaking to someone.
What does SEND mean?
SEND stands for Special Educational Needs and Disabilities.
A child may have special educational needs if they have a learning difficulty or disability which means they need special educational provision to be made for them.
SEND can look very different from one child to another.
It can include needs relating to:
- communication and interaction
- cognition and learning
- social, emotional and mental health
- sensory and/or physical needs
A child may have one area of need or several, and their needs can change over time.
Importantly, SEND is not just about academic ability or attainment. A child may need additional support because of communication, emotional, sensory, physical or social difficulties too.
What should I do?
1. Start by writing down what you're noticing
You don't need professional terminology or a special book, just grab a notebook or even use notes on your phone!
In fact, I'd encourage you to write down what you actually see.
For example:
“My child becomes extremely upset when plans change.”
“They can talk about things they're interested in but struggle to explain when they're upset.”
“They come home from school and need a lot of time alone.”
“Getting dressed causes huge amounts of distress every morning.”
“They seem to understand instructions differently from other children.”
“They are exhausted after school.”
“They are finding friendships difficult.”
Don't worry about deciding whether something is “SEND enough.”
Just record what you're seeing. The little details matter too.
Sometimes something that feels insignificant to you can help build a much clearer picture of what your child is experiencing.
2. Talk to your child's school
If your child attends school, you can start by talking to their class teacher and/or SENCO.
A SENCO is the Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator and helps coordinate SEND provision within a school.
You could say:
“I've noticed some things at home and I'd like to talk about whether you're seeing anything similar in school and whether my child might need some additional support.”
You don't need to walk into that conversation knowing what support your child needs. You could ask face to face on pick up or collection, through email or through the school’s messaging service. You can simply share your concerns and ask questions. The SENCO will make time to speak to you and usually organise a phone call or face to face meeting to support you and listen. During this meeting you might want to ask:
- What have you noticed about my child's learning or development?
- Are you seeing the same things that we see at home?
- Does my child currently receive any additional support?
- Is my child receiving SEND Support?
- What strategies or adjustments are being used?
- How will we know whether the support is helping?
- When will we review how things are going?
- Is there anything else you think would help my child?
Remember school is there to support both you and your child and you don’t need to go into this meeting alone, you can always bring a friendly face with you.
What if my child is struggling at school but doesn't have a diagnosis?
You can still raise your concerns.
In fact, you don't need to wait for a diagnosis before talking to school and you shouldn’t.
If your child is struggling with learning, communication, behaviour, social situations, emotional regulation, sensory needs or other aspects of school life, explain what you're seeing and ask what support may be available.
A diagnosis may eventually help explain some of your child's needs, but support and understanding should begin before a diagnosis.
If you're currently waiting for an assessment, that doesn't mean nothing can be done in the meantime.
When should I ask for more SEND support?
There isn't a magic point where you suddenly become “concerned enough”.
If your child's needs are affecting their ability to learn, communicate, participate, manage emotions, build relationships or access everyday life, it is reasonable to ask questions about what support could help.
For some children, the right support through school may be enough.
For others, needs may be more complex and they may require support beyond what is ordinarily available through SEND Support.
In those circumstances, an Education, Health and Care needs assessment may become relevant. This is an assessment for local authorities to consider an EHCP plan for your child. An EHCP is for children and young people who need more support than is available through SEND Support.
You don't need to jump straight to an EHCP because you've noticed something.
Start by understanding your child's needs and what support they need then work out what comes next.
What if I still don't know what to do?
This is probably the most important thing I'd like you to take away from this article.
You don't need to diagnose your child yourself.
You don't need to understand SEND law.
You don't need to know whether your child needs SEN Support, an assessment, an EHCP or something completely different.
You can simply start with:
“This is what I'm noticing. I'm worried. Can someone help me make sense of it?”
That's a perfectly reasonable place to start.
At Seed & Sun, we can help you talk through what you're seeing, understand your child's needs, explore what support may be available and work out what your next step could be.
You don't need the right terminology.
You don't need a folder full of reports.
You don't need to know exactly what you need.
You just need to tell us what's happening.
You know your child. We'll help you make sense of the rest.
A little reminder for parents
If you've been wondering whether you're overthinking things, remember:
You don't have to wait until things become really difficult before asking for help.
You don't need a diagnosis.
You don't need to know the answer.
And you don't need to prove that your child is struggling “enough”.
Sometimes the first step is simply saying:
“I've noticed something, and I'd like to understand it.”
And that's enough to start.
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